Insomnia might be good for me.

I can't sleep. In bed by 9, up, and wake awake at 2:30. Bah. This has been going on for 3 weeks. I have tons of anxiety, between the medical stuff going on, and who knows what else.
However, this might be good for me. I'm wide awake, and ready to go! This morning, I-
--balanced the checkbook.
--surfed the internet, caught up on news, facebook, and the message boards I read.
--read and cleaned up email.
--finished cataloging my new fiber - including pictures, and put it all away
--re-organized my knitting bookshelf
--cleaned up my knitting/spinning room (it was a disaster - I brought home 6 new books, and about 5 lbs of wool, which was not put away) fiber and books everywhere!
WHOOOO. That's stuff I have needed to complete; but at the end of the day, I am so beat, all I want to do is sit on the couch and relax. Well, duh - I'm beat, since I am not sleeping.
So, I am raring to go, chomping at the bit to get my day started. When I get home @ 3 this afternoon, I will be napping like its my job.
Anxiety sucks, but perhaps sometimes, its a good thing?
Here's a gratuitous shot of Sherman doing what he does best- lounging in my knitting/spinning room, while I am working on something.

Dissapointed with the pirates.

Pirates, pirates, pirates. That's all the news talks about. I was fascinated with the news yesterday, covering the pirate going to trial. Pirate this, pirate that, However, I was disappointed- the pirate apparently was a crying mess. Pirates do not cry! They drink rum, say "Argh," and wear hats and eye patches. What gives?

Pirates!

First off, let me say that it is terrible people are taken hostage, and in danger. There is an American who is being held hostage, and it is terrible for him, and his family and friends.
However, I am in hysterics over the fact that its pirates! I watch the news all the time, and on my days at home, I have it on in the background all day. On Thursday, when the hostage situation began, it was all pirates, all the time on the news. I was giggling, watching the news anchors, sitting there seriously, talking about the pirates. Also, watching reports ask the White House press secretary, "We do not negotiate with terrorists, will we negotiate with pirates?" Seriously? If I didn't know any better, I'd think it was a parody in Saturday Night Live.
Now, I'm obsessed with the pirates. Do they have a ship with cannons? Do they wear the hats? Oh, God I just want to see them in a hat or eye patch.
I'm fascinated that Navy ships are surrounding the pirates. Pirates! Wheeee!
I pray the hostage is released unharmed. I pray that this can be resolved peacefully.
But come on, when the news asks who do you negotiate with a band of pirates? That's silly.

SOOOOOOOOOOO stressed out!

Long story short. Last July- terrible pain in my abdomen. No one could figure it out. Gallbladder removed. Pain never went away. Low grade pain since. Last Friday- pain skyrocketed. Saturday - ER trip- everything was fine. Tuesday - saw the specialist- thinks is 'sphincter of oddi dysfunction'- he cannot diagnose, or treat - the procedure is pretty specialized, an only 2 clinics in AZ do this. Bah. Now, we are in the insurance waiting game. However, the pain has subsided again, whoo!
So, I have not slept all week. In bed at 9- wide awake at 2:30. In the beginning of the week, it was pain and stress over work and deciding wether to go home on vacation. Now, we've made the decision to go, its now the stress of getting everything done that I haven't done since Saturday to get ready. Laundry, clean the house (Sandy is staying here while we are away,), get clothes to pack, change the oil in the car, do a little shopping for jeans, bills, etc. Oh, and work.
AHHHH!
I am sooo stressed, byt very excited to get home!

A boy and his futon: a love story

Just because - pictures of Patton's love affair with the futon. He jumps up there, and 'nests' until he can get the pillows 'just right.' I've never seen a dog arrange his own pillow to sleep.
He makes me giggle.

No workouts for me.

ARGH! As much as I carry on about working out, and the eating plan, I miss it. I cannot workout right now, for fear of triggering more pain in my side. I cannot really follow the eating plan, since I need to eat bland foods, and really the only things that appeal to me right now are saltines and applesauce. I do not like this change in routine. It SUCKS. I've made some real progress in the past 2 weeks, and don't want to lose that momentum. Yikes.
Dare I say, I have come to enjoy my workouts- they are not as much as a chore as I thought they would be.

I love my sister

Why did it have to be that I move 2000 miles away that we got closer? Sigh. Going to school is good for her, and I am proud of her. We have finally been able to push all our crap aside, and go to each other for advice, and help. She's been a great comfort to me over the past several weeks, while I have been down. I love her, and miss her, and cannot wait to see her.
Although she's no help in the gallbladder pain. "Oh, when I had the same pain I had huge gallstones." Lucky her. Ah hahaha ha kidding. Love you, Russel.

I cannot sleep!

This is crap. I am having so much anxiety over my pain right now. How to juggle vacation, potential medical procedures, and not being able to determine what is happening. This is crap!
Grrr.

I think I am the only person to sob hysterically in the ER when told everything is ok.

So, my side has been hurting. In the gallbladder area. For almost a year. Had the gallbladder removed, and still had pain. Low grade, manageable pain, but pain nonetheless. Friday night, the pain skyrocketed. Oh, its bad. Hurts to breathe, hurts to move. Hurts, period. The only relief I can get is laying on my bad, taking shallow breaths. Friday night is was bad. Saturday, it was worse. Jen (who I am lucky to have as a friend,) met me at the gym for our morning workout, and said, nope - you're going to Urgent Care. Not in Maricopa, since they Ahwatukee, 20 miles away. I couldn't drive, and Larry is on call, so Jen took me. Urgent Care couldn't figure it out, so off to the ER. Damn. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! The last trip to Chandler ER was HORRIBLE, so we went to Gilbert Mercy.
Ah, so much better than Chandler. They gave me a bed, instead of a 'recliner,' and everyone was so kind. Nurses continued to check on me, and everyone was very nice. (Chandler was horrible- we'd have to look for a nurse for help, and they were not very warm or compassionate. They looked at me like I was just looking for drugs.)
So, long story short- everything was normal, so they sent me home. When the doctor told me that, I fell apart. I was still in a lot of pain, and nothing helps. Bloodwoork, ultrasound, all normal. Only problem they saw was pain. Morphine didn't really help, in fact I felt worse after the morphine. THey sent me home with painkillers, that did nothing but make we tired.
Oh, did I sob. I couldn't help it. I am so tired of pain. Oh, they were big, uncontollable, nose running, blubbering sobs. The nurses were so kind. They gave me some tissues, and tried to give me a little comfort, and let me compose myself before we left. (As opposed to Chandler, who discharged me so fast- Larry had left to get something to eat, so he was not there when I was discharged. The made me wait in the ER waiting room until he arrived. Talk about no compassion.)
So, here I am this morning, in pain, still. Nothing relieves it. Thank you to Jen, who is trying to help. I know I need to be my own advocate, but yesterday when we got home, all I wanted to do was be miserable in bed. :)
This morning is a different story. I have been researching my symptoms all morning on the internet. Reading message board posts, blogs, and medical journals. I think I may have some kind of answer.
So, I am going to blow out my printer this morning, printing everything I can find, and then Monday, work on an appointment for a doctor.
I am terrified this is going to cause a problem with my trip home. Sigh.
Thank you to Jen and Jonathan. Jen drove me out to Urgent Care and then the ER. Jonathan opened the store for her, until she could get back. I cannot thank them enough for their help.
To make me happy, here are gratuitous picture of Patton and Sherman.
I am always amazed how they manage to 'drape' themselves over their beds to sleep. I think they are silly.

Oh God, I HATE traffic.

Sigh. When we moved to Maricopa, we knew we'd be driving. ALOT. Maricopa is considered to be a 'bedroom community.' Mostly homes, some shopping centers, and that's it. Everyone must commute to work. The town was only incorporated 5 years ago. That means its only been 5 years that the city has started to grow and build itself up. We now have a city council, local government, etc. Eventually, we will attract companies to 'set up shop' here, I do not see that happening for quite some time.
When we bought the house, I worked in South Chandler- about a 20 mile commute. Not much traffic, not a big deal. When I was hired with my current company, I could not pass up the oppurtunity, and accepted the 35 mile commute (one way) into downtown Phoenix. Oh God, its nuts. Its all major highways to get to work, which means hideous traffic.
Do they even have traffic reports in Reading? I live by the traffic reports here.
I used to commute a long distance from Lancaster to Morgantown when we lived in PA. It was about the same distance, and the commute was a breeze. 222 and the turnpike. No traffic jams, no craziness. But commuting in Phoenix- nightmare traffic.
I was able to alter my hours to work 6-2, and can avoid the traffic. I also work from home 2 days a week. Yay!
However yesterday, it was Orbitel's (our internet provider) quest to make me crazy. Our internet died yesterday, and I was working from home. That meant I had to run into the office, and stay a little later than normal. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I drove home yesterday at 4. The traffic was HORRIBLE. Start, stop, start, stop, start, 5 mph, stop, start and so on. All the way home. What is usually a 45 min commute turned into an hour and 15 minutes. Oh, not happy. Oh, and we have those stupid speed cameras. What that means is if you are speeding at least 11 mph over the speed limit, it takes your picture and sends a ticket. No one knows how to drive. Everyone drops to about 5-10 miles below the limit, when they pass these cameras, making the traffic flow even worse.
Poor Larry, he greeted me at home, trying to give me a hig hug, but I was so ramped up with frustration from the commute, I all but bit his head off. Damn, that meant lots of apologies. I'm lucky to have such an understanding husband.
But, put him in that traffic, I'll bet he does the same thing.

I love diet coke, but its the devil.

Sigh.

I love diet coke, but it hates me. I am soooooo tired of water. But, I stopped all soda last week, and lost 2 pounds. Yay me, but sucks.
Its interesting. Sunday is my free day, and I had several diet cokes. Wow, did I feel like hell. Dare I say, I am feeling less fatigued since not drinking diet coke and all that artificial sweetener? Its interesting.
Larry quit diet coke too. He's seen a difference in his energy, and overall well being.
Damn. I had to idea is was affecting us so poorly.

I wish I was 20 an careless again. Actually, let me rephrase that. I wish I was 20 and careless again, but with my marriage, and career. Ah hahaha. Wishful thinking.

I'm gonna take the rest of the diet coke we have, and get some mentos, for some diet coke explosions.